EA Sports BIG games have, with the occasional exception, been quite average. The SSX series and Sled Storm were about the only breakthroughs in a distinctly uniform brand - making diet versions of the very franchises that have given EA their bread and butter for well over a decade now. FIFA Street’s emergence on the PS2 was more like a refresher course in novelty gaming when it appeared and was, for some strange, unknown reason, popular enough to warrant a sequel. The question now is, can the current consoles finally make one of these games an essentiality?

Regrettably, it would seem not.

The storyline of FIFA Street 3 is practically non-existent (or, at the very least, so lame that it’s not worth talking about). Being a FIFA licence, real soccer star lookalikes (resembling something Nickelodeon rejected) fill the pitch, and stumble over the tricks you spent an hour trying to get right in the prequels; only succeeding accidentally when frustration encouraged analogue stick abuse that worked better than actual moves.

The tricks themselves are performed by holding combinations of control and shoulder buttons. At least that’s how I managed to perform something resembling fancy footwork, but after 10 minutes your knuckles cramp from stress brought on by as RMS, or Repetitive Move Syndrome.

Even though the game does have a fictional feel about it with the graphical style, it’s not all bad. The caricature-esque theme holds together well, and the game’s extremely smooth as a result. There’s definitely a polish to accompany its visual lacquer. If only the rest of the game had this much care and attention, perhaps there’d be a few extra plus points to lavish upon it. Shame, really.

The sound really doesn’t help either. EA have once again found it necessary to delve into their dubious CD collection of youthful classics for the terminally middle aged (see Burnout Paradise review for more info. – Ed.). A perplexing and vexing jumble of tunes would better suit a 1960’s detective film noir, rather than a sports simulation. Another unfortunate experiment in being trendy for trendy’s sake, I fear.

Attempting to extract the other two or three plus points of FIFA Street 3’s design feels a little like clutching at straws, but for the sake of completeness, we’ll give it a lash. Firstly, there are plenty of unlockables on offer by going through the challenges, such as veteran players and designer footballs (honesty – being reduced to crediting the colour of the football speaks volumes more about the quality of the game). Online play is as smooth and controllable as the offline game, which is a genuine acclaim the series has always proudly sported.

Ardent football or EA Sports fans may well force themselves to remain occupied for many hours with FIFA Street 3 – more through their own sporting dedication than gaming gratification - but to the majority of us it will just feel like our life force is ebbing away with no evident recompense.

With a variety of other soccer simulators already vying for shelf space - especially when FIFA ’08 boasts the superb Be-A-Pro mode (particularly on multiplayer) – we’re forced to wonder if we really need another one of these simulator hand-me-downs?

FIFA Street 3 is nothing more than another use of the FIFA licence that’s just not really necessary, and serves only to cast doubt on the forthcoming Euro 2008 game. This game is a bit like a supermodel. Through the camera lens it looks amazing, but up close it’s gaunt, superficial and no fun to be with.

It’s time to retire this series and remove it from EA’s releasing schedules before it does any more damage to the prevalent developer. The sound doesn’t cut it, the graphics hide the truth and the game plays like a chore. This is quite simply a game of confused ideas hampered by poor execution. There’s little consistency or longevity to be gleamed from it. Paying full price for this game is to score an own goal.